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Helping Lonely Hearts via e-Mail

There are millions of people looking for their true love on the Internet. The challenge is that many feel intensely frustrated with the process. These love sick people are meeting all kinds of wrong people, or even worse, they’re not meeting anyone at all. That’s why many of them are turning to Online Dating Coach, Chaszey Sandhriel.

Chaszey says: “Most people don’t realize that what they truly want in a partner contradicts who they are themselves at the core. They are one thing and desire another.” She adds: “The beginning of successful Online dating starts with a profile that is unique because it projects the strength of who you are, because it shows your most authentic Self and because you are honestly communicating who you are really looking for in a partner.”

In order to create a successful profile, start with these three tips:

1. The right screen name Most people tend to forget that screen names communicate novels. Screen names like “ServeMeRight,” “Looking2Please69,” “WorshipGoddess” may communicate things to people that you had not intended. Try not to communicate too much with your screen name and definitely don’t leave room for guess work when choosing your screen name.

2. Choosing photos that work “People don’t realize that the main headshot is what many people base their decision on and based on this one picture some may never even look at the profile, so your main photo is the most important one,” says Chaszey. It’s amazing to see how many people put photos up wearing their sunglasses and baseball cap, covering just about anything important. This will result in many people never even opening up their profile. Your main photo should show your eyes and your face and you should not wear a hat, even if you’re bald. Photos that produce result show your eyes and face and you look into the camera. Photos should show you in a variety of settings, headshot, half body shot and full body shot. This is not the time to hide what you look like, this is the time to be honest.

3. Your profile Give an accurate and true picture when describing yourself. People don’t realize that online dating is not a writing contest and no awards are given anywhere to anyone. This is an attempt of the heart to finding that true love that you so deserve. Yet people try to do so by falsefying their profiles, making themselves sound like they want to be, rather than who they truly are. They don’t realize that by giving a false picture of themselves, no matter how great it sounds, never allows for that true love to come into their space. It’s a contradiction and it can only go one way: the wrong way. Instead, be honest, sincere, ethical and authentic. Don’t worry about what others think of you, it’s none of your business. Worry about accurately describing yourself so you can attract that one special person.

4. Clearly describe the partner you want to attract Everyone wants a “good woman” or a “great guy” but this doesn’t mean that your profile needs to sound like you’re looking for a Stepford wife or Prince Charming. Too many adjectives can result in people tuning out about what you’re really looking for. Perhaps you may want to try to describe how this person makes you feel or what you as a couple would do together. Write this part as if you’re talking to her or him directly.

Chaszey Sandhriel is the Nation’s number 1 Online Dating Coach and helps Daters create outstanding results. Visit www.YourOnlineDatingCoach.com or call 415.419.7952 to get in touch with her.

July 29th, 2008 Posted by Chaszey Sandhriel | Dating | no comments

The Diet Industry - A Glorified Trap

Can you imagine explaining a 1200 calorie diet to your great-grandparents? Their eyes would roll back in their heads and they would certainly turn in their graves if they knew how today’s society is enslaved to the diet industry. Today experts seem to have all the answers, there is a pill for everything, and even a perfect diet for every blood type. We are inundated with things we “should” eat and “should not” eat. No wonder some people feel guilty just drooling over dessert. Heaven forbid you stare at it too long, you might actually gain an ounce just lusting after its yummyness. It has become truly ludicrous.

Yet today’s main health problems are all stress related and it’s no wonder when we have learned to program our minds with information that is meant to scare us when it comes to our diet. Is it any wonder that we suffer from diseases today that didn’t exist two decades ago?

What has happened to us as a society? Why do these industries have such a hold on us? And since when have we become their slave?

Our bodies are meant to be healthy vehicles for us and food was meant to be here to nourish our bodies and for us to enjoy and savor it. Somehow over the past few decades, our bodies have become our enemies that are forever imperfect and need to be molded, reshaped and even go under the knife for corrections. I dare you to regain your freedom and gratitude for your body and to stop putting it through so much torture.

Here are 4 tips that can help:

1. Start looking “in here:” You have every answer you ever want to ask of anyone, so stop looking out there. If you’re struggling with a diagnosis, get your answers from your Higher Self. Your disease was manifested or allowed by you for a reason, only you know why, how it got there and how you can heal yourself again. Always remember that you’re never given more than you can handle. And just when it feels like you’re breaking, there will be a way out; seek for the answers in silence and you will find the answers.

2. Meditation and Breathing: Accessing our Higher Selves is done easiest through meditation and proper breathing techniques. Start with the full intention to breath deeply and fully when sitting silently. For most people this is very difficult because we have become human doings instead of human beings. Peace and happiness is found in states of being, not states of doing or having.

3. Use your body: Your body was designed to be moved around so you can accomplish whatever you have come to accomplish. In Europe the average person walks 2 miles a day, most of which is to and from work, going grocery shopping and so on. In the US we hardly walk 100 yards a day because most people have cars and are just plain too lazy and too busy otherwise. Use your body, it’s why you have created it in the first place. If walking to and from work is too far or too inconvenient, get a gym membership. Get your body moving.

4. Love your body, all of it, and be kind to it: As a society we have come to learn to hate our bodies or at least parts of it. Imagine the leader of our country broadcasting on national television that he hated and disliked us - we would have instantaneous war amongst ourselves. And yet, isn’t that what we are doing to the 70 trillion living cells that make up our body when we tell one part that we don’t like it? How can you expect your body to work in peace and in cooperation with each member when you tell one part that it is defective in some way? Say nice things to your body for the parts that do work and the parts that you do like. Start somewhere, then expand as you start feeling the 70 trillion living cells suddenly work together to help you create a body that is truly at peace within its members. You will be amazed at the difference!

January 15th, 2008 Posted by Chaszey Sandhriel | Food & Beverage | no comments

Don’t Let Yourself Go After You Say “i Do”

“Men want their women to look the rest of their lives the way they did on their wedding day (slim, beautiful, attractive, long hair, etc.) and women devote the rest of their lives to changing the man they’re about to marry (”he’ll change for me”).” Yes, it’s a gross generalization, I know. A true one for most nonetheless.

A quarter century down the road we hardly look the sexy, slim women we were on our wedding day, to the sadness of our husbands who now are in the deep end of the pool called mid-life crisis, where they discover a life raft called “the younger woman.” Meanwhile, the woman takes inventory of the man she has vowed to change so many years ago, and she realizes that he’s certainly not the man she married, but he is by far the man she had hoped him to become. It’s a true set up. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why is our hair the first thing that we chop off right after we get married and instead we pack on the pounds?

We all have seen the young and athletic couple before their wedding, the very one we run into at the mall a year later and think “holy crap, they’ve gained weight!” He proudly holds on to his love handles while blaming the wife’s cooking.

What about the wives? We have lived with our own cooking most of our lives, so why do we now suddenly gain weight? And most importantly, how do we get it off before turning into a blimp that makes us settle for slip-on shoes because we now don’t like bending over anymore.

Try these 3 steps that may help you get that attractive and tight body back that leaves your feeling gorgeous about yourself:

1. Guard you gym membership (get one if you don’t have one). I can promise you that as soon as the little ones arrive, and probably even before then, everything changes, especially your schedule. The first thing to go is your gym membership, whether you rationalize it by having to save money or not having enough time, it’s one of the first things to go. Now for those of you who think that you’ll be working out at home, think again. It takes a huge amount of self-discipline to work out at home, and for most our homes are our safe havens; the last thing we want to do in our homes is sweat and get out of breath. Stick to a gym.

2. Keep your long hair. I know having long hair takes a lot of time and patience and that is one of the main reasons it gets chopped off in the first place. I dare you to keep your long and sexy hair and to change your attitude from “dang, I have to spend an extra 30 minutes blow-drying and styling it” to “I’m so lucky to have such gorgeous hair, it’s like having free jewelry crowning my face and it makes me feel so sexy.”

3. Your body is your best friend - listen to it. Even Adam and Eve found a bond through a mere apple. To this day when we go out to eat we ask the person we’re with: “What are you having?” Who cares what they’re having! In some illogical twisted kind of way food is a great bonding experience between people (we can be so primal). Let’s take that next step on this evolutionary ladder and start asking this question of our body instead: “What would you like today?” Listen to that voice instead and you’ll find that your body works with you like a well-oiled machine that keeps you going healthy for decades to come.

January 11th, 2008 Posted by Chaszey Sandhriel | Women | no comments

Overcome Declining Health, Depression And Loneliness - Part 1

Looking out the window early this morning it was evident that the world in the San Francisco Bay Area has returned to “normal.” At least on the outside it looked that way. Traffic was backed up bumper to bumper by 6:15 a.m. and I was heading off to work at the suicide prevention hotline, where life for most callers continues to be anything but normal. The days after the Holidays are a let-down for many people and many can’t get themselves out of the pit by Spring time. It’s when everyone seems to break free from the cold weather and wake up from the hibernation stage that lonely and depressed people tend to do the opposite: fall even deeper into a stage of sadness.

While callers are burdened by many different events such as divorce, declining health or trouble in the financial department, there seems to be one common thread amongst those reaching out for help: intense loneliness. It’s when no one seems to care anymore. Everyone seems to misunderstand. Others cannot relate at all anymore. There is nobody to call. And no one picks up the phone and calls them. Add to this soup of emotional devastation the slim hope for any improvement for better health or hope that an estranged spouse may return, and we have a ultimate devastation going on.

Many years ago I was waiting to die of lymphoma, I created my Last Will, and was just rotting away at a young age with no improvement in sight. The feeling of being trapped in a non-productive marriage for almost 15 years felt like a golden prison - and given the sad statistics, there are way too many people out there going through the same tragedy. It doesn’t have to be this way.

One day while coming to peace with my inevitable death just around the corner, I realized that even though there was no one to blame, there was indeed some outside force (at least that’s what I thought) that seemed to be in charge of my happiness and my marriage. I arrived at the depth of the sea and there was nothing else to give up or be taken from me.

It was during this time that I had an inkling of hope, a flash of “aha!” popped into my mind: “What if I missed something?” “What if there WAS a way out and I had just missed it?” I did overlook something, the most important thing of all - my purpose, the very reasons for which I have come to be here. I did not know what that purpose was at that very moment, I just knew there was a unique purpose for me. I didn’t know what it was, but I trusted that it would be shown to me in due time. All I needed to know right then was that there was more in store for me.

Brand new intentions for my life were born and life was about to take an amazing turn.

I made a full recovery and life has been a true miracle ever since. What did I do?

Stay tuned for part 2 where I will share with you how I overcame and conquered and how you can do the same.

Note: Neither this nor any other article and post of mine are intended to be a replacement for medical advice. If you suffer from mental illness please check with your physician.

January 5th, 2008 Posted by Chaszey Sandhriel | Disease & Illness | no comments

How To Make Him Stay When Your Butt Is Twice The Size Of His

There are songs that glorify women’s big behinds and undoubtedly there are men who love, really LOVE a big butt on a woman. There are even cultures in our world who not only make women stuff fabric and pillows into their dresses to appear rounder, there now are plastic surgeons who give us permanent butt implants.

Men who love big butts are women’s blessings, at least to those women who get to enjoy that very asset on themselves. Thank goodness for movie stars like Jennifer Lopez who think that their big rear ends are their best assets - we are truly given a break here. All of this is great but what if your butt is twice the size of his and clearly you look like you could whoop his little tush?

So what if you’ve gained weight and your man is not all that pleased with your new “loafs of bred” crowning your mid section? For starters, if your g-string still has at least a one-inch visibility somewhere around your waste line, you may be okay. When it’s buried completely and neither you nor your partner can see that you’re even wearing underwear, that’s when we may need to start shedding some of those tires crowning this curvatious mid-section.

In all seriousness, it doesn’t really matter what they think of you in your birthday suit, because what we think is the ultimate end-all in boosting our self esteem and confidence. No matter how big you are, if you are confident and pleased with yourself you will be a Goddess in the bedroom that rocks his world. When you look in the mirror and you are pleased and tickled happy by your own curves is when you have reached a level of self-esteem that rarely gets enjoyed by women.

The other challenge is that the other person’s facial expressions change as soon as they see us naked. His face either reflects pleasure and turn-on (besides many other drool-causing emotions) or disappointment and let-down. We then pick up his facial expressions, which is information we use to formulate how we want to react and feel about what just happened on that man’s face when he saw you naked.

We have heard this many times, beauty is fleeting, and it’s passing by fast; beauty that comes from the inside, however, will last forever. The fabric of our soul qualities are confidence and happiness, not outer beauty. So it’s important to focus on these internal qualities first, the outward proof on our body is surely to follow.

Here are some tips to regain your confidence.

1. Even if you feel unattractive, start doing some nice things for yourself first, something other than shopping, because they will help you feel more encouraged about yourself. 2. A great way to feel more confident and sexy is to wear matching bra and underwear, no one can see them, but you will know it and it will reflect on the outside. 3. Instead of expecting him to light the candles for you, light the candles for yourself when you put on your make-up or you take a bubble bath (especially if you’re single). 4. Get your toes done even if it’s in the middle of winter and you don’t think that anyone will ever see it. You will see it and it will make you feel “put together” and taken care of. 5. And most importantly, let go of any negative feelings such as jealousy towards other women who are skinnier than you; be peaceful about the way you look and know that absolutely no one can take your place in the divine, and no other woman is capable of stealing your man from you.

Nothing can be stolen from you if it is meant to be yours, so the need for to be jealous of another woman is a complete waste of energy. Provided you have married the right partner you have absolutely no competition, no matter what other women look like. Your loved one will have eyes for you only, and he thinks the world of you no matter what you look like. He may hurt not because you’re overweight, but he may feel your pain of being unhappy with yourself. And how unfair it would be for us to expect him to care for us if we don’t even care for ourselves. The only thing he wants to see is a peaceful woman who is confident inside and out.

PS: If this is not your man and he does give your ultimatums to lose weight or else, let him go so he can chase after women who fit his desires better. This way you are free to work on yourself and get yourself ready for the one and only who truly deserves you.

January 4th, 2008 Posted by Chaszey Sandhriel | Relationships | no comments